Below are details of all players past and present. Selection for Bitterne Park is based upon the following criteria:-
Who are they? What do they do?
Pete Hutchings (captain) - RH bowler who specialises in 3 - ball innings with the bat. Ensures continued selection despite lack of ability by virtue of no-one else being willing to be captain, book the opponents and pitches, collect the subs etc..
Robin Hutchings - Batting all rounder. Initial selection due to having a father as captain, who would drag Robin along to field whenever we were short, which was most of the time. Handy with bat and ball, and a useful knack of being able to throw down the stumps from just about anywhere on the pitch. Those early years fielding finally now paying off.
Peter Thompson - RH fast bowler, RH batsman who can actually bat, bowl and field, thus disqualifying him from selection. Reason most matches start with someone saying "We're not a one man team but is Pete Thompson playing?"
Jon Whale - RH opening batsman and bowler, who likes fielding on the boundary. We've not worked out why after over 25 years. Perhaps he just doesn't like us.
Toby Whale - RH opening batsman and spin* bowler who gets his wickets by the batsmen falling asleep while waiting for the ball to arrive. The suspicion is that this player has retired, but he might just have found a better offer. (*Note - has not actually got any delivery ever to deviate from straight, but one day...)
William Whale - RH fast bowler, RH batsman. His value to the team is mainly his ability to remove stray dogs and their owners from the field. Occasional skipper. Also provides a taxi service to a couple of our better players (see below).
Finley Whale - Proper fast bowler, Opening batsman. Good in the field. Given his cricketing skills it is amazing to many of us that he is the elder of Will's two sons.
Milo Whale - Proper fast bowler, Opening batsman. Good in the field. Given his cricketing skills it is amazing to many of us that he is the younger of Will's two sons.
Darren 'Daz' Beckett - RH batsman - A good catcher by virtue of hands approximately the size of buckets.
Mark Atherton - RH batsman, With grace, poise and style both in batting and dress. Frequently injured on the field of play despite having all the gear including a helmet.
Philip Moulin - Initially thought to be a RH batsman, but accidentally revealed an ability with the ball. Partial to a scotch egg as part of his pre match warm-up (and we wonder why we lose so often).
Matt 'Mole' Coleman - former Chairman of Selectors. No ability as such, but quite good at getting in the way of the ball whilst standing around in the covers offering tips (sledging) to our bowlers. From the description you may think this is 'fielding', but none of what he does is in any coaching manual. Often thought to have stainless steel shins.
Other Mike (Langford) - Proper medium pace bowler who can actually get the ball somewhere near the stumps. Fine batter and good fielder. Why he is still playing for us we don't know. There are pictures of him playing cricket on his wedding day with his bride, not that he's obsessed or anything.
Howard Whitehead - Orthodox batsman and occasional bowler. Known to get quite excited when he takes a wicket. Also known as statto as he looks after the team stats and produces various charts, graphs and tables that sadly most of the team are completely unable to grasp.
Andy Jaggard - Useful lower order batsman and handy in the field. Excellent hair, which can make him look like a young Ian Botham, at least until he starts batting.
James V (James the fifth) - Worryingly orthodox technique with both bat and ball. BP coaches are working to correct this as he is making us look bad.
Josh - Recent addition to the team but seems to be able to field and knows what the bat is for, putting him above many of our past and present players.
Arvind - Technically a Cavalier but has played more games for BP than many of our established players, and possibly more for us than for the Cavaliers. Great batsman. Canny bowler. Knows more about cricket than anyone any of us have ever met or are likely to met. Probably too good for us, but he is too polite to say so.
Gavin Sumpter - Useful right arm bowler who can also bat a bit. Runout possibilities increased by being proper northern, meaning most of us have no idea what he is saying. Has massively increased his chances of selection by getting his daughters to make us cake. We are pleased to see Gav, but even more pleased when the family come along as well. The lemon drizzle cake was exceptional.
Neil - Orthodox batsman who plays genuine cricket shots. Elegant at the crease. Makes most of us look like we do not know what we are doing. The club have appointed mentors (Will and Phil Moulin) to help him focus on hitting the ball as hard as possible, ideally up in the air. To date he insists on batting 'properly'.
Matt Shroff - Occasional player but with a fantastic record for the club. Almost always delivers with both bat and ball. It is hard to quantify the relief of other players once they realise Matt is playing. Also a properly nice bloke.
Matthew Brown - Another Cavalier who regularly turns out for BP. Can bowl long spells without losing pace or accuracy. Has in the past 'run through' BP when playing for the Cavs. A more than capable batsman and fielder as well.
There are a number of excellent players not listed above, (and some truly dreadful ones) who play on an ad-hoc basis.
Gone but not forgotten
Occasionally people play for us and then somehow find something more interesting to do, or move to a different part of the country, or even both.
Simon Morris - LH batsman, retired LH bowler. A balance between the two, the better he bats, the worse he bowls.
Top tip - Don't make him angry, You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
Darren 'Daz' Phillips - RH fast bowler, The captain cunningly puts him on to bowl against the good batsmen to ruin his averages. Now retired by virtue of moving away.
Dave Perks - Wicketkeeper, RH batsman with no technique or sartorial sense but possessing of an uncanny ability to hit the ball cleanly. Now retired before donating his body for medical research.
Pete Etherington - RH batsman, RH bowler A natural nurdler of the ball who stores a tinny behind the stumps so he can keep ' hydrated', thus preserving his body for possible future medical research in selfless membership of the Dave Perks school.
Martin Kelly - Martin's immense value to the team was that he has secured fixtures in the wonderful setting of Wolvesley Castle. Also famously a jolly nice bloke.
Ed Currie - RH batsman who achieved the feat of scoring 50 entirely in boundaries. Recently taken the Daz Phillips route to avoid selection by moving away which is fortunate for the Captain and CoS or they'd never get a game.
Murali Deegutla - Right arm fast bowler. 2012's secret bowling weapon. Fantastic batter. 2012s secret batting weapon. Brilliant fielder. 2012's secret, well, you get the picture. Famous for getting out playing a Dilscoop shot, a BP first. - Has taken the drastic step of moving to the Indian branch of the Daz Phillips cricket school to avoid selection.
Original Mike (Kearns) - RH fast bowler and batsman who plays with elegance but seems to be unlucky, as evidenced by his ending up playing for BP. Now retired by virtue of moving away.
Tony Wright - RH bowler. Lack of run-up is deceptive, with the ball constantly delivered full and straight, something usually avoided by Bitterne Park bowlers can also bat a bit, and was the first player to be recruited via this website. Another emigrant to the Daz Phillips cricket school.
Andy Day - Big hitting man mountain of a RH batsman. Natural attacking style gets him runs, as well as out. Able to bowl both spin and pace, but usually opts for spin so he doesn't have to run so far.
AJ Morris - Shares father Simon's competitive streak, but as a RH fast bowler. Handy with the bat. Lightning in the field and with great reflexes he is usually given half of the field to 'look after' when we are fielding. Known to get quite excited when he takes a wicket.
Richard Jerry - Highly gifted batsman. Able to bowl both pace and spin. Great in the field. Has moved on to Kent CCC as part of BP's ongoing feeder club arrangement. Kent are narrow-mindedly showing a distinct lack of interest in other BP players.
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